Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Is it weird...?
Is it weird that I can't read the crazy squiggly security letters when I log-in to my bank account or Myspace? Seriously, it takes me like, 3, 4 or 15 tries to actually read those darn letters!!
Is it weird that I don't like my food to touch on my plate? I mean, there are some acceptable food-touch-options that I can deal with. Example: Beans & rice mixing together at a Mexican restaurant. Not okay: Beans & hamburger mixing at a burger joint. Ew, I'm getting sick just thinking about it.
Is it weird that I'm paranoid of stepping on snails? Whenever I come back to my apartment late at night, the sprinklers are either on or have just finished watering the sidewalk. So, all these snails are everywhere. It's dark. I don't want to step on them & see the ickiness of slimy snails all over the place, & on my shoe.
Is it weird that I don't like chicken?
Is it weird that I blog about my weirdness?
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Is it weird that I don't like my food to touch on my plate? I mean, there are some acceptable food-touch-options that I can deal with. Example: Beans & rice mixing together at a Mexican restaurant. Not okay: Beans & hamburger mixing at a burger joint. Ew, I'm getting sick just thinking about it.
Is it weird that I'm paranoid of stepping on snails? Whenever I come back to my apartment late at night, the sprinklers are either on or have just finished watering the sidewalk. So, all these snails are everywhere. It's dark. I don't want to step on them & see the ickiness of slimy snails all over the place, & on my shoe.
Is it weird that I don't like chicken?
Is it weird that I blog about my weirdness?
<><
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I'm just so tired...
I figured out my problem with exhaustion!
Besides not getting enough sleep.
I've been so tired lately, so when I get home, all I want to do is sit on my couch & veg out. So, I haven't really been working out. Well, that's my problem. I need to start working out again on a regular basis. It's all this crazy cycle. I'm tired, so I don't want to work out. Because I'm not working out, I'm tired, etc.
So, I looked into taking some classes at this local gym. It's $15 per class, which can get kind of pricey if I go every week, but if I only go once in a while, I think it'll be great! I need some kind of pick-me-up from my boring workout routine in my apartment fitness center. BORING!
Tonight, there's a Yoga 101 class @ 7:30pm. I used to take Yoga all the time in high school! I was really fit. I'd be able to hold the "warrior" position for hours! But now, I can't even sit "Indian Style" without pulling something. So, I'm off to my new class! I'll let you know how it all goes!
<><
Besides not getting enough sleep.
I've been so tired lately, so when I get home, all I want to do is sit on my couch & veg out. So, I haven't really been working out. Well, that's my problem. I need to start working out again on a regular basis. It's all this crazy cycle. I'm tired, so I don't want to work out. Because I'm not working out, I'm tired, etc.
So, I looked into taking some classes at this local gym. It's $15 per class, which can get kind of pricey if I go every week, but if I only go once in a while, I think it'll be great! I need some kind of pick-me-up from my boring workout routine in my apartment fitness center. BORING!
Tonight, there's a Yoga 101 class @ 7:30pm. I used to take Yoga all the time in high school! I was really fit. I'd be able to hold the "warrior" position for hours! But now, I can't even sit "Indian Style" without pulling something. So, I'm off to my new class! I'll let you know how it all goes!
<><
Friday, September 19, 2008
One Year
God has blessed me with a year of actual commitment. Internship is something that I'm "locked into" for a year. What a wonderful opportunity for me to take this year & focus on myself.
So, I have a list of things I want to do this year. Here it is!
1. No dating.
No boys. No crazy unrealistic crushes to sway me from my focus this year. I don't want to worry about whether a guy likes me or doesn't like me. Why hasn't he called/e-mailed/texted, etc.? I don't want to fool myself into thinking that someone has feelings for me when they don't. I'm always left heartbroken & reminded of my aloneness. Instead, I'm going to joyfully celebrate my singleness & allow God to provide for me through friends & family!
2. Lose weight.
After joining Weight Watchers, this is becoming easier & easier. I still need help w/ motivation & energy to get off my couch & walk over to my fitness center. But, this year is the perfect year to change all of that!
3. Save money.
I have until Dec. 2009 to start paying off my loans & when that time rolls around, I don't want to be broke & have to rely on credit cards again. Instead, I want to be loan-free & debt free by the time I turn 28. 5 years. (Side note: I just realized that I'm going to be 28 in 5 years!! Holy Cow!!!)
4. Hike Half Dome.
Dr. Ebel from CUI takes a group to hike Half Dome every year & I've always wanted to go. I haven't had a chance to do it because I haven't been in shape. Well, this year, count me in! I am SO there! I want to be able to hike up there & know that I accomplished an incredible feat of strength, agility & endurance.
I am so looking forward to spending time on myself & working things out in my life! Hopefully in a year, I can give a successful report. We'll see!
<><
So, I have a list of things I want to do this year. Here it is!
1. No dating.
No boys. No crazy unrealistic crushes to sway me from my focus this year. I don't want to worry about whether a guy likes me or doesn't like me. Why hasn't he called/e-mailed/texted, etc.? I don't want to fool myself into thinking that someone has feelings for me when they don't. I'm always left heartbroken & reminded of my aloneness. Instead, I'm going to joyfully celebrate my singleness & allow God to provide for me through friends & family!
2. Lose weight.
After joining Weight Watchers, this is becoming easier & easier. I still need help w/ motivation & energy to get off my couch & walk over to my fitness center. But, this year is the perfect year to change all of that!
3. Save money.
I have until Dec. 2009 to start paying off my loans & when that time rolls around, I don't want to be broke & have to rely on credit cards again. Instead, I want to be loan-free & debt free by the time I turn 28. 5 years. (Side note: I just realized that I'm going to be 28 in 5 years!! Holy Cow!!!)
4. Hike Half Dome.
Dr. Ebel from CUI takes a group to hike Half Dome every year & I've always wanted to go. I haven't had a chance to do it because I haven't been in shape. Well, this year, count me in! I am SO there! I want to be able to hike up there & know that I accomplished an incredible feat of strength, agility & endurance.
I am so looking forward to spending time on myself & working things out in my life! Hopefully in a year, I can give a successful report. We'll see!
<><
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Tahoe!
After being in minsitry officially now for 6 weeks, I had a chance to take a tiny break & adventure off to Tahoe for a few days this week. The occasion? Hanging out with all the DCE's in the California-Nevada-Hawaii District. Imagine the chaos & awesomeness of chillin' with 20 DCE's for 3 days! AMAZING!
Honestly, I was expecting to be welcomed right away with open arms & smiling faces, but it took everyone a little while to warm up to the "newbies". I don't care how old you are, cliques still happen & people still feel left out. It's our sinful skin that makes us this way. No excuse, though. The first day was awkward with some people who I didn't know. However, the people who did welcome me in were incredibly warm & sensitive to the new adjustments an intern makes their first year of ministry. Support, my friend, is definitely needed.
We spent a lot of time just hanging out, eating some good food, & getting to know one another. I got to see the Lake & it's just beautiful! The weather was perfect for hiking, but I didn't have a chance to do anything outdoorsyness. Sad day. However, I got the fever, so I'm definitely going to try to make it up there on my day off. Perhaps next week? We ventured off to the Nevada side of Tahoe & did some gambling. I lost money & won some money, but in the end, I basically lost it again. I didn't have a lot of money to spend, so it wasn't terrible. No pain here over lost cash.
The week went really great. Jim Bradshaw was the guest speaker & is a seasoned DCE in youth ministry. He was extremely encouraging & gave me some great advice for being a new DCE in a new church with a pastor who has never worked with a DCE before. It's been challenging, but I think I'm going to take some of the advice he gave & get myself a mentor who's an older DCE. Someone who knows the ways of the church worker-youth ministry land. I think this will help tremendously with my support & encouragement in the field. At least I hope so.
After crying several times over spiritual exhaustion, physical exhaustion & just plain frustration from having no social life with people my own age, the rest of the DCE's totally stepped up & became a great support. I already have a dinner / worship date with an amazing DCE, Sina next Saturday. Can't wait! She's super fun & she'll be out here for the worship conference at Bayside Community Church.
Overall, it was a great retreat & now I feel refreshed & ready to do some more ministry!!
<><
Honestly, I was expecting to be welcomed right away with open arms & smiling faces, but it took everyone a little while to warm up to the "newbies". I don't care how old you are, cliques still happen & people still feel left out. It's our sinful skin that makes us this way. No excuse, though. The first day was awkward with some people who I didn't know. However, the people who did welcome me in were incredibly warm & sensitive to the new adjustments an intern makes their first year of ministry. Support, my friend, is definitely needed.
We spent a lot of time just hanging out, eating some good food, & getting to know one another. I got to see the Lake & it's just beautiful! The weather was perfect for hiking, but I didn't have a chance to do anything outdoorsyness. Sad day. However, I got the fever, so I'm definitely going to try to make it up there on my day off. Perhaps next week? We ventured off to the Nevada side of Tahoe & did some gambling. I lost money & won some money, but in the end, I basically lost it again. I didn't have a lot of money to spend, so it wasn't terrible. No pain here over lost cash.
The week went really great. Jim Bradshaw was the guest speaker & is a seasoned DCE in youth ministry. He was extremely encouraging & gave me some great advice for being a new DCE in a new church with a pastor who has never worked with a DCE before. It's been challenging, but I think I'm going to take some of the advice he gave & get myself a mentor who's an older DCE. Someone who knows the ways of the church worker-youth ministry land. I think this will help tremendously with my support & encouragement in the field. At least I hope so.
After crying several times over spiritual exhaustion, physical exhaustion & just plain frustration from having no social life with people my own age, the rest of the DCE's totally stepped up & became a great support. I already have a dinner / worship date with an amazing DCE, Sina next Saturday. Can't wait! She's super fun & she'll be out here for the worship conference at Bayside Community Church.
Overall, it was a great retreat & now I feel refreshed & ready to do some more ministry!!
<><
Sunday, September 7, 2008
The Scarlet Letter: G
Graduated.
Done.
Finite!
These words remind me of the loneliness that is being part of the Alumni. Being an Alumnus is so much different than being a student. You get your perks, of course: Alcohol on campus at the CUI Alumni Functions, rubbing elbows with people who wish they were back in college just like you, & the occasional free bumper sticker or license plate cover. Not to mention the oh-so coveted personalized brick in from of the Grimm Student Union.
However, Alumninity is just another step further from the good ole' days when staying up late & hanging out with friends wasn't called a "Youth Lock-In". Alumninity is an honor!
But I want to be a plain old student again. I want to sleep in the same room with my best friend, staying up late lying in our beds talking about boys. I want to complain about not having a "real kitchen" & experiment with Snickers Pancakes again! I want to live across the way & above my best friends. The same best friends who I've already lost contact with.
Yes, the Scarlet Letter "G" shuns me as the non-CUIte, the outcast who lives thousands of miles away. I'm the one who people forget about when birthday cards come around, the one who gets the last invitation to weddings & CUI gossip, & the one who can only respond via facebook, e-mail, or the occasional text message. Don't forget about me, CUI! What happens when I have a crisis or need someone to talk to? You all were there last year. Where have you gone now?
It's all because the letter "G" was sewn onto my graduation cap.
I understand it's difficult to maintain the same friendships as before. No face time. No Starbucks or Donut Star at 2am to work things out together. However, when did Society decide we needed these things to maintain a solid friendship? Distance should not control the status of relationship!!
When you achieve the dreaded & sought after letter "G" in May, you will understand my dilemna & hopefully your heart won't break like mine.
<><
Done.
Finite!
These words remind me of the loneliness that is being part of the Alumni. Being an Alumnus is so much different than being a student. You get your perks, of course: Alcohol on campus at the CUI Alumni Functions, rubbing elbows with people who wish they were back in college just like you, & the occasional free bumper sticker or license plate cover. Not to mention the oh-so coveted personalized brick in from of the Grimm Student Union.
However, Alumninity is just another step further from the good ole' days when staying up late & hanging out with friends wasn't called a "Youth Lock-In". Alumninity is an honor!
But I want to be a plain old student again. I want to sleep in the same room with my best friend, staying up late lying in our beds talking about boys. I want to complain about not having a "real kitchen" & experiment with Snickers Pancakes again! I want to live across the way & above my best friends. The same best friends who I've already lost contact with.
Yes, the Scarlet Letter "G" shuns me as the non-CUIte, the outcast who lives thousands of miles away. I'm the one who people forget about when birthday cards come around, the one who gets the last invitation to weddings & CUI gossip, & the one who can only respond via facebook, e-mail, or the occasional text message. Don't forget about me, CUI! What happens when I have a crisis or need someone to talk to? You all were there last year. Where have you gone now?
It's all because the letter "G" was sewn onto my graduation cap.
I understand it's difficult to maintain the same friendships as before. No face time. No Starbucks or Donut Star at 2am to work things out together. However, when did Society decide we needed these things to maintain a solid friendship? Distance should not control the status of relationship!!
When you achieve the dreaded & sought after letter "G" in May, you will understand my dilemna & hopefully your heart won't break like mine.
<><
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Lousy
I am terrible at keeping up a blog when things are super busy. Isn't that the best part to blog about? Seriously, come on now!
The best for first. My love life. I broke up with Barna. Actually, we broke up about 2 weeks ago, just to give you a time-frame. There was a lot of drama that happened, which included long online chats & anger management issues coming to life. However, when it all came down to it, Barna & I were never friends. We never based our relationship on a friendship first. Instead, we went from 0-60 in 2 seconds & when we were already so serious, I realized how important being friends first is! He also wasn't into his faith as much as I am. Being a DCE & the leader of moldable young faiths, it's super important for me to be in a relationship with someone who is passionately on fire & in love with his Savior. Barna just couldn't understand this kind of relationship with God. To him, church was for Sundays and Sundays only. Although I am extremely happy to be single again, I do miss having a boyfriend. Ha!
I officially unpacked last week! I finally put everything on the walls & will hopefully be posting pictures soon. I love being in a place that finally feels like home! I still have some boxes that might have to wait to be opened when I'm more permanent, but that's okay with me.
I joined Weight Watchers last week. I really needed something that would get me back into shape after college & connect me with other people. I thought about joining a gym, but since I have a fitness center in my apartment, it would be more beneficial to do the meetings. I really like my leader & it's only about 5 minutes away from home & church! It's about time I start taking care of myself!
Work is really busy. I finally cut down my hours to about 50 per week (compared to 60) & am still able to have time leftover. Some days are really busy & some are slow with nothing to do. I still love my job, though & I love my youth!
Everything else is going great! I'm having serious CUI withdrawal, but God puts us in uncomfortable situations to grow us, right?
The best for first. My love life. I broke up with Barna. Actually, we broke up about 2 weeks ago, just to give you a time-frame. There was a lot of drama that happened, which included long online chats & anger management issues coming to life. However, when it all came down to it, Barna & I were never friends. We never based our relationship on a friendship first. Instead, we went from 0-60 in 2 seconds & when we were already so serious, I realized how important being friends first is! He also wasn't into his faith as much as I am. Being a DCE & the leader of moldable young faiths, it's super important for me to be in a relationship with someone who is passionately on fire & in love with his Savior. Barna just couldn't understand this kind of relationship with God. To him, church was for Sundays and Sundays only. Although I am extremely happy to be single again, I do miss having a boyfriend. Ha!
I officially unpacked last week! I finally put everything on the walls & will hopefully be posting pictures soon. I love being in a place that finally feels like home! I still have some boxes that might have to wait to be opened when I'm more permanent, but that's okay with me.
I joined Weight Watchers last week. I really needed something that would get me back into shape after college & connect me with other people. I thought about joining a gym, but since I have a fitness center in my apartment, it would be more beneficial to do the meetings. I really like my leader & it's only about 5 minutes away from home & church! It's about time I start taking care of myself!
Work is really busy. I finally cut down my hours to about 50 per week (compared to 60) & am still able to have time leftover. Some days are really busy & some are slow with nothing to do. I still love my job, though & I love my youth!
Everything else is going great! I'm having serious CUI withdrawal, but God puts us in uncomfortable situations to grow us, right?
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