i want to be alone, but i don't

i want to be alone. . . i want to work out my problems BY MYSELF! just because you see me sitting by myself at worship or chapel doesn't give you the right to come & talk to me & try to solve all of my problems. i just want to be ALONE!


then again, i don't.


even though i look intensely focused on praying by myself, i'm crying out for someone to sit with me. don't talk. don't touch me. just. . . sit. i don't want you to try to fix anything. i might not even talk to you. but the mere action of you sitting next to me gives me comfort in knowing that i'm not alone in this world trying to mend the brokenness, even though i so desperately wish i could do it on my own. i don't want to bring it up at dinner in the caf. don't try to talk to me about "what's going on" a few days later. if i want to talk about it, i will. chances are, though. . . i won't.


right now, though. . . i just want to be alone.

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