Stepping on Snails

As a child, I had a friend who loved to step on snails. I don't know which twisted friend this was, but I vividly remember watching him/her smashing snails with their Hi-Tops & laughing hysterically. Disturbing. I still have nightmares about it...

Fast-forward to now. As an adult, I have this terrible fear of stepping on snails. Not only could I never smash another living creature for my pleasure or enjoyment, but it's just gross. They're already so slimy, stepping on one would make SUCH a mess on my nice shoes. Of course, it's all about the shoes. So, I avoid stepping on snails & other living creatures at all costs.

Well, if you don't know anything about Northern California, it should be pointed out that the winters here are rainy. I'm talking Thunderstorm-Raining-Cats-and-Dogs Rain! This isn't So-Cal's light drizzle or Arizona's monsoon. This is RAIN! Real rain! At first, I absolutely loved the change in weather. Being from Phoenix, I only prayed for weather like this. I loved having a flexible enough schedule where I could just curl up in sweats on a rainy day & read. It was lovely.

As the rainy weeks dragged on, this childish joy of rain is almost non-existent. I mean, I still enjoy the rain, but it's really becoming inconvenient. I have to carry an umbrella EVERYWHERE I go & I can't wear flip-flops anymore (even though I do keep a pair in my office & wear them throughout Church). I'm borderline sick of the rain...But, I digress.

For some reason, the sidewalk to my apartment is the Mecca for all snails, slugs & the like. They all seem to congregate around the bottom stairs of my home, so whenever I'm walking to or from my car, a slight paranoia grows inside me, my heart races & the fear of stepping on a slimy, slithery snail crawls up my spine. This land-mine of snails is always there after a stormy night & it seems like I'm always coming home after dark. So not only do I have to watch where I step, I can't even see where I'm carefully placing my feet. I could have killed thousands of snails without even knowing it!

I'm to the point where I want to report the overpopulation of snails to my apartment complex. Isn't this some sort of health code violation? Snails can be a danger to others. They're so slimy, who knows what could happen if someone accidentally slips & falls to their death! I feel like it's my responsibility as a human being to report this before a lethal disaster happens. Maybe there's a snail conspiracy going on? Terrorists perhaps?...

Before I call the CIA/Homeland Security on these tiny snail terrorists, I'm going to get some work done. Ministry has been crazy!

Priorities, people! Priorities!