Writing the "King's Clothes"

As I was sitting in my office today, watching the Northern California dreadful rain drip down my window, I started to realize how awful of a writer I am. Some people have the knack for blogging or ability to sit down & write a novel or really good thank you note. Not I.

My youth group is doing a play in May to raise money for the National Youth Gathering in New Orleans in 2010 & I'm in charge of writing it. Since "this is my job", I have the privilege of thinking of witty & funny things for our youth to say while portraying the lovely fairy tail, "The Emperor's New Clothes". Yes, I agreed happily because I don't want to head up cooking all the food for a couple hundred people nor do set design or costumes. So, if the mere task of writing a play is what I'm called to do for this mediocre fundraiser, then awesome!

But, as I sit in my office, staring out my window (due to writer's block), I realized how awful of a writer I really am! Don't believe me? Here's a sneak peak at this amazing award-winning script I'm working on...

Opening Act III, the Tailor requests a long list of ironic & needless things. This is the conversation between a few of my characters.


Duchess Daze – (holding a long piece of paper) I can’t believe we have to get all this stuff! What’s a Per-sseean rug anyway?

Lady Dane – It’s Persian.

Duchess Daze – Oh yeah!

Lady Vogue – This list is shameful. Starbucks Venti, double-shot, non-fat, vanilla Lattes on ice? They don’t drink soy?

Duchess Daze – Lady Vogue, not everyone is Lactose Intolerant like you.

Lady Vogue – (appalled at her statement!) I am NOT Lactose Intolerant! My stomach just doesn’t do dairy! (ashamed) It's always a losing battle...

Lady Dane – All of this is just way too much change. I cannot deal with all this pressure!

Duchess Daze – Well, Persimmon rug or not, this is ridiculous.

Lady Dane – It’s PERSIAN!

Duchess Daze – Oh yeah!



Seriously?! Persimmon? Come on!

I'm just going to chock this whole thing up to a learning experience & stick with public speaking.