it's been a while, my friends

wow, to my surprise, i realized that it's been over a week since i last blogged. i guess in my busyness, i just haven't had a time to sit down & share my life. well, things have been quite busy. i just got back from choir tour to AZ last night & flew back home to phoenix this morning. i'll be home until monday morning, which will be an amazing holiday from school drama, but i still have a heavy laundry list of things to get done before break is over.

choir tour was great except that i had a blast-from-the-past / slash / high school experience on the end tail coming home. jr. high drama was not fun in jr. high & it's still not fun. it's funny how it's so easy to hide our sin & faults from people when you only see them once a day, but when you spend 5 days together, you can't really hide anything & you can pick out everything in other people. needless to say, we all got on one another's nerves. other than that, it was great. it was my last tour as a senior (sniff, sniff) & i cried a little at our last concert last night, but all-in-all, i had a wonderful time getting to know some people i never really talked to & spending quality time w/ those friends i've grown to love. i will truly miss choir. oh, i'm going to start crying again! ;)

i'm still trying to change myself. i've always wanted to be that person, but i've been stuck being this person all along. so, i made a decision to change & it went well for a while, but being put into situations where people aren't really accepting or aware of the change is difficult. i was reminded by one of my loving roommates that God created me special & for purpose, just the way i am. this is a nice cupcake of truth, but with a salty core. i really needed to hear her wise words of wisdom, but it was difficult to accept it. i still have a desire to change, but not necessarily the essence of who i truly am, the kelsey that God handcrafted.

sometimes it's easier to put up walls than endure pain from being unshielded.

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