Humility

i'm angry at God for humbling me. . . especially when i think other people are prideful when it's really my pride that hurts.

i also am angry at myself for being prideful & thinking that i'm greater than other people. i apologize to those of you who have been hurt by this dangerous pride that Satan puffs us up with. why do i have to sin? why does sin cause me to be distant from God?

i used to be so close to God. i used to hunger for the Word & strive in my relationship w/ Him. now, i've become apathetic & lazy in my faith. i thought that going to a christian university would grow my faith, but i have found that it's destroying it. . . or, it's Satan who wants me to fail in faith.

growing is painful & realizing your own faults is even more hurtful. i wish i was better. i wish i could change, especially in those relationships that have been sacrificed to my pride & sin. the remorse of my own actions is devastating, but a hard & much-needed lesson.

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